More to life
A lot of shitty things have happened to me in 2010.
A lot.
2010′s latest gift to me (a concussion and a cracked cheekbone) caused a friend to suggest that this is the universe telling me I need to slow down.
That I’m working too much, and I need to look after myself.
I thought about this for a bit.
I actually don’t think, as far as illustrators go, I DO work that hard. Do I?
I mean, usually get up and am at my computer by 9. And I’m usually there at 6pm. 7pm. 8pm.
But I DO take breaks. I check the PO Box. I go for a walk. I go out for coffee.
I even spend some time every evening watching some DVDs or documentaries with Seth.
I mean, sure, there’s never a day I DON’T fire up the computer and at least check that no clients have sent me urgent messages. Or maybe just tweak a painting for 15 minutes or so.
And a few weeks ago, when I had a whole weekend away from my computer and work, I almost had a panic attack about it.
I know that’s not healthy, but hey, I’m an illustrator. I’m freelance.
It’s hard!!
It comes with the territory. Suck it up princess and get to work.
Still, it’s been on my mind. So today I asked Seth:
“Do you think I work too much?”
“Yes”
“I…oh. Yes? You don’t even need to think about it?”
“No. Yes. I told you that before. I keep saying you’re spending too much time at the computer.”
“But it’s where my work is!!!”
“I know.”
My initial response was to feel anger.
Don’t people understand what my job is? That I’m a freelance illustrator and designer? Don’t people know how hard that is? Don’t people know what odds I’m up against? Don’t they understand that there are more neurosurgeons about than full time illustrators? Do they know what that means, and how much time it takes to be able to reach that level?
Don’t they care?
And you know, I realise, the answer is no.
No, they don’t care about that.
They care about me.
They couldn’t give a rat’s if I make it into this competition, or that one. But they sure as hell do care when they see somebody they care about hell bent on obsessively working themselves to death.
And while it might not be a heavy workload by ‘industry’ (I despise that term) standards, it is by sane people standards.
I guess I would do well to remember that.
And I guess it might not actually hurt me to unplug my computer one day a week for some rest and recovery and…dare I say it…relaxation?
I’m going to give it a go.
Tags: art, Art and illustration, Design, health, i'm an idiot, Real discoveries come from chaos, seth, something to think about, work
3 comments
What I have to keep telling myself on the days when the work piles up, or there is a deadline looming, is that as your own boss you set your own hours… and you should always work to live not live to work!
I am free for coffee to get you (and me!) away from the computer!
After about the 30th of this month, I should have a lot more free time. So we should most certainly go get some coffee.
You know, I was just thinking to myself today, “Is there anyone else that’s as hardcore about illustrating as I am?” In a way it’s sort of a relief to see someone who works as hard as I do at their craft. I was beginning to think I was alone in my obsession.
Pretty much everything short of watching TV (only because there are no shows dedicated to illustration) revolves around art- all the websites I browse, the inquiry emails I post, the forums I peruse… Everything.
I’m in that stage where I feel I NEED to do this though, since I don’t have regular clients. I’m more depressed at not getting any emails than I am stressed about getting them at this point. I guess I have to remember I can’t keep going at this pace forever and maybe establishing some guidelines for myself as to how long I work and when would be a good thing.
Thanks for the post, I can relate so well to everything that you said!