Working from home

Fig1: How to bankrupt yourself in mere days

Most of the time when I tell people I work for myself, from home, it’s met with an extreme enthusiasm followed by the words that must irk freelancers the world over:

“I’d LOVE to work for myself and be my own boss! I wouldn’t have to work so hard! I could do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted! Do you work in your pajamas?”

Yes, truth be told, I often do work in my pajamas. The reason being that some nights it’s past 1am and I’m still plugging away in front of the screen.  I should be sleeping in my pajamas.

It’s hardly surprising that people would assume that, as a self employed person, you really could do whatever you wanted whenever. After all, if there’s no boss breathing down your neck it really is up to you to make your own choices about what work you do and when.
The big difference is that the choice of what you do and when is also the choice of what money arrives in your bank account, what client will or won’t work with you, what you can or can’t afford to do.

I see it as a case of smaller wants versus bigger wants – I want to lie in bed all day and read interior design magazines….but I really want to get a mechanic to give my car a service.
I’ll get out of bed and get to work.

Now, I’ve had to work very hard in the ‘normal’ jobs I’ve had. The work was certainly more physically tiring, and constant social interaction takes a bit of a toll on me. I swear, some nights I lay on the lounge massaging my twitching cheeks, having over-exerted myself in a long day of over the top, manic looking “HI AND HOW CAN I HELP YOU TODAY?!?” smiles. I’m sure I scared more customers than I welcomed…
My feet ached, my back ached. And my head…
It’s certainly more comfortable at home, but the one major thing that makes it so hard:
IT. NEVER. STOPS.
In freelancing circles, they say this is a disaster. That one must find a way to switch off and simply switch off.
Personally, I’ve never managed it, and it’s this exact problem that sent me scurrying to other employment for a while.
Before I jumped ship, I’d find myself working on a project (say, making a business card for somebody) by day, then thinking about it settling down to watch a movie with Seth. Then awake in bed, tossing and turning, wondering if they’d prefer this colour or that colour, if I’d done a good enough job. If I’d make the deadline.
Eventually I’d get up again in the small hours of the morning and keep working.

Not only this is extremely not healthy, it was actually detrimental to my productivity.

I got so sick to my stomach every time I sat down to work that I avoided it like the plague. My house was never cleaner than when I had a commission to work on (oh, I could start working on this picture….but the bath needs scrubbing. I’ll scrub the bath. But the carpets look awfully dirty. I’ll clean them first….) as I was constantly looking for any excuse to relieve the enormous pressure I felt.
Working alone, it’s all pressure on you. You can’t refer an unhappy client to a manager, dusting your hands as you stroll away, knowing that your weekly wage will be there in your bank account simply because you turned up in uniform and did what they asked you to do.
It’s all you, all the time.
If you want repeat customers, you have to go above and beyond to please them. Even difficult ones. You have to fight for every dollar.

Sometimes, you’ll even have to remind people that you, actually, should be paid please, because, sorry, you don’t actually work for free and uh…didn’t we sign a contract? How is this happening?

It can be hard, lonely work. You don’t get to gossip with coworkers at lunch about how Joe Blow threatened to quit this morning if Mr Entity didn’t give him his holiday leave, and did you know he’s sleeping with his assistant!?!
Nobody claps you on the back and says “Good job! See you Monday, enjoy the weekend!”
And the office ladies certainly don’t bring a cheap supermarket sponge into work and lovingly decorate it with candles and gummi bears in a gesture so sweet it makes you get kinda teary (you pretend it’s just the candle smoke bothering your sensitive eyes, naturally. What, it isn’t bothering anybody else? It must be that I’m standing so close to them).
For me, a lack of peer support makes it easy to lack motivation.
It’s so, so easy to go get that extra cup of coffee and lie down on the lounge to ‘let ideas brew’ (you’re not even kidding yourself there) and oops! No work got done today!

But naturally, this lifestyle it has its perks.I wouldn’t be here if it didn’t.

My work is for me. I judge how well I’m doing, I control the quality, I pick which direction we take next.
I also pick what time of day I work, what projects I will and won’t accept, and how I approach them.
And the payoffs are mine and mine alone.

Having tried both now (having a boss and being my boss), I’m in no doubt about which I prefer.
I am converted. I have seen the light.
Where once I didn’t, I now believe the sacrifices are well worth it.

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Tags: Art and illustration, Real discoveries come from chaos